“Everything in Moderation”, was what I remember hearing from my mother all the time.
My question, is how true is this philosophy, and thus where should it be applied?
So far, my best answer is: In anything whereby the means are beyond your control of preparation, and where happiness is a function of your individually derived appreciation of the object/event. Attending a Christmas Party is one area where moderation holds.
Much of this post is explanations and descriptions, if you really want the gist of the entire post, I draw attention to the concrete measures with bold text with a succinct description underlined. Also, if you really just want to know the way I prepare for such things, simply skip ahead to the last section of the post.
What got me thinking about this was the question that commonly comes up with dieters, “What should I do if i’m dieting but have to attend (insert social function) and thus will deviate from the diet.” The standard answer which all variations (well, at least most of them) reduce to is, “Prepare for it, Relax, and have fun.”
In essence, that is what I will cover in the first part: what I mean by ‘prepare for it’, and what I mean by ‘relax’. Ultimately, moderation is a mindset, a shift in perspective towards a larger goal. Because of this, some people do it better than others. Chances are, if you are not the type to stress over what to do about some event that cropped out of nowhere and poses a threat to your dieting attempts, then you don’t need to read this article (unless you are interested in some philosophy).
Prepare for it
In essence: eat as little as possible before and after the event, emphasising only dietary proteins, and then don’t go overboard during the event.
Easier said than done. So here’s my take.
First, we need to see the big picture. How much can you possibly put down in one sitting given the chance to. If you are a female of average proportions, I’d say no more than 5000kcal if you really try. That said, this is a horrendous guess, but for simplicity sake let’s say we’re facing a real glutton who manages to put down 10000kcal in one sitting. [1]
Even if you think about it, assuming that you stuck to your diet for the rest of the week, and that you want to achieve a 3500kcal weekly deficit, you would have achieved a deficit of 3000kcal before the event. This means that that mega binge put you 2 weeks back in terms of dieting efforts (10000 – 3000 = 7000kcal surplus), which is pretty significant indeed.
One thing that you need to do is appreciate the numbers behind all these. Nobody gets around thermodynamics, and the ONLY way to lose weight is to consume less than you expend, same goes for gaining weight. How to achieve this is another matter.
Now the question is, how often does such a mega-binge occur, and why?
One of the really funny things which I noticed, unfortunately largely with dieting obsessed females, is that they are so conscientious about their diet and training for all days of the week except for one. Then on that one day they turn off ‘dieting mode’ and go into ‘binge mode’, eating all sorts of chocolates and other sinful indulgences. They then turn around and wonder why no weight has been lost after 3 months.
These people manifest themselves as the noisy gym rats who constantly complain about not being to lose weight/bad genetics and hat not. What you did not see (by definition) are those people who quietly carry out their routines, and at such events, enjoy themselves while simultaneously not ruining their diet.
That is my major contention in this article: that those how are the most successful in dieting often are the ones who have no such thing as ‘dieting mode‘. Those who do typically do not have the usual distractions of everyday life to deal with – think bodybuilders and professional athletes. We need to face the fact that most of us do not have the luxury of such a controlled schedule, and we thus need to make arrangements for that.
Some questions we should be asking are: Do I really need 10 beers to feel happy at the event? Do I need to eat all that food?
Let’s say we cut your binge down to 5000kcal, half of the original 10000kcal. This time, all we have is a 2000kcal surplus, less than a week behind. Perspective is important.
Family Gatherings
One of the reasons I feel that contributes to this is the large pressure to eat when faced with friends and family. Some people can relate to the kind old Grandmother plopping down a fat juicy turkey drumstick in front of them and then slathering it with yummy (and fatty) homemade gravy. Who could resist?
Well, that has to be part of the plan. Firstly, I must say that we all need to live a little. There are some events whereby I will give myself permission to binge. Big family reunions, especially around the holiday season in Western countries are one of those things. In such events, I’d rather have a great day with family and friends while simultaneously not caring about my diet for a couple of days.
Factoring that in we can take several mental approaches.
First and foremost, don’t diet during the holidays! This is a time to eat, drink and merry, at least for those several days.
Second, treat your diet as a preparation for the holidays. Literally, “Hey, I’ve dieted for a month. Now I can eat to satisfaction for 5 days without getting fatter than I was a month ago.”
Third, continue dieting and miss out on the holiday mood.
Everything Else
Now that we’ve got the holidays aside, let’s move on to everything else. This can be anything, from a dinner with colleagues, to a business lunch, to breakfast with an acquaintance, or a visit to the pub. These events, in my opinion, are events which are ‘not worth the calories’ in the sense that they are no excuse to binge.
Of course, our poor dieter described above doesn’t see it this way. Instead, he/she thinks that every weekend is an excuse to binge. So bring on the alcohol and chips Mate!
It doesn’t have to be that way of course, and the first and very necessary fix is to erase that sort of attitude. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, and you can easily eat one cookie without finishing the whole jar.
Screw that though into your head again and come up with some version of it which you can repeat to yourself whenever the thought comes to say ‘screw this!’ and just binge. Make it succinct, something like “Fuck the jar, I only need 1 cookie to be happy.” More importantly, make sure this is a short enough reminder to stop yourself from over-eating in social situations, especially with friends. [2]
My Preferred Method
I am a proponent of intermittent fasting (check out Leangains.com for more), and thus would eat a 500kcal meal (I’m 85kg as of this writing. Smaller dieters may need less, larger diets, more) containing about 70g of protein prior to the event. This would probably be something like a piece of chicken breast with some veggies.
Come to the event, I will simply relax and pick the foods which I really enjoy. The purpose is to enjoy and consciously appreciate the food being given.
Finally, I will not forget the real reason why I am there. If it is a business lunch, then the business is the focus, not the food. By focusing on the business at hand, you probably won’t feel the need to binge anyway.
Oh, I forget one important point. Knowing yourself takes experimentation. The philosophy towards such things will take more than one attempt to get right. For those who are pedantic and meticulous about everything, this requires some serious mental overhaul.
There’s a method to relaxation, and I hope those you really need it give some thought to it. For the laid-back people out there, don’t forget to keep coaxing your friends to relax about such things.
***
Notes:
[1] First thing I want to note is that caloric balance is definite. No arguments about this. You can only ever lose weight if you are in net caloric deficit, and can only gain weight if you are in net caloric surplus. The issue comes in short term under and over feeding. In the Energy Balance Equation, Lyle McDonald talks about this extensively.
In real life though, things don’t seem to match up with mega binges. Even if you are in 10000kcal surplus, you will not wake up 3lbs of fat heavier the next day. In such short term situations, the body’s capacity to absorb stuff seems to be impaired, along with other funny factors in which the math just doesn’t match up.
The take home: All the more so you should relax during such events, since 1 event can barely hurt you.
[2] I’m not a guy to swear out loud, but I do swear to myself (inaudibly) pretty often when it comes to cueing myself to avoid previous pitfalls. Let’s face it, sometimes we really eat too much when with friends, this is a hugely specific and complex thing, so one has to find his/her way of dealing with it. Ultimately, I like simple cueing to prevent myself from slipping into excessive indulgences and excessive pedantry.
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